Monday, March 1, 2010

Center stage

Here we are at yet another crossroads. 
Atleast I think so.
Maybe it's an intermission.

That's what I will call it, an "Intermission".

EVERYTHING is up in the air.

We have had a great first act. Excitement, adventure, drama and lots of comedy. Thankfully no tragedies. I know there is something else coming- a second half. But who even knows what's it's going to be. I didn't read the book on my life before I started acting in the play.

Let me go back in time..
My husband, John and I moved 3 1/2 years ago.
He had just ended his active duty military service to the Marine Corps and it was time to move back to the Midwest. Mainly because we missed our families but also because we couldn't afford living in the valley of California, as dreamy as it was. Seriously it was one of our favorite places either of us has ever been let alone, lived. Palm Springs, Joshua Tree. We loved it. Not everyone does. The Desert suited us.

So we came to a small town where we knew no one, had no family, and were completely clueless as to why we were lead here.
But we believe that we were lead here -by God. Although knowing and feeling= 2 completely different processes!

The reasons for us being here have slowly come into focus and we have been more content (we've felt it) in the past year than the preceding 2.  John has finished his bachelors degree in just 3 1/2 years. I am super proud of him and his accomplishment. For someone who loathed high school and anything to do with school, his report cards now grace our refrigerator with bright shiny A's. He is a hard worker. This blesses my heart. We have been involved in a wonderful church, have shared our lives with wonderful friends, and have grown together as a couple in countless ways.

We will officially be out of the USMC in 5 days. This means no more obligations, trainings, discounts, privileges, titles or special ID cards.. But you know how this goes :"Once a Marine, Always a Marine. " John sometimes calls cadence to the cats still. It keeps it fresh in his mind. 
They still won't call him Sergeant though.

I digress.

My job, which was a total obvious provision of God on our behalf, will be ending in September.
The CBAE grant that funded it was revoked by the "current administration" so unfortunately this also means, my current job is also revoked. Boo for that.

This is all part of a perfect design though.
Of this I am sure.

There are tons of uncertainties in our lives at present (isn't everything always uncertain though?).
Will we find jobs here in this not so economically thriving town?
Is it time for us to move on?
Is it time for us to MOVE? Oooh, moving without packers and movers? That sounds fun ( and like every 2 years of my life growing up).

Where would we go?
Where do we look?
Do we go? Do we look?

Do we want to stay here?
In many ways, YES! we do! But the unrest and restlessness we feel could be for a reason..

We aren't attached to any particular place geographically. 
We could travel and be contracted in Iraq (John has always wanted to do this, our families may not be so hip to the idea)
We could pick up and leave.  Move by college friends. Live in another state. 
 OR We could stick it out and wait..



A friend shared this with me today:

Sometimes there  is a season of nothing before a season of everything.  Are we going to stand in the quiet or will we jump too soon?  

As I blogged a bout a few weeks ago..I think it's time to sit and be quiet and just wait.
My Bible study chapters have been about being a support and not saying or doing too much to hinder the communication between my husband and I or between God and myself. Just let God do the work.

Hello, God!? Don't you know I'm a planner!? As much as I like to fly by the seat of my pants, it's usually planned flying.
God replies : I AM the planner. Get over it. 
Literally. It just so happened that I am trying something new this month. Praying the names of God. The first one on the list last night: I AM.
 I AM... all sufficient. i am not. He is.

All of Him is more than enough for all of me ,for every thirst and every need..

In the past I have felt like these quiet seasons and times without direction or without foreseeable provision meant God was not moving, not around, lurking in the spiritual corridors or off taking care of more pressing matters.
Oh, contraire! I am finding that it means he is even more at work than usual. Doing all of the behind the scenes orchestration and ironing out the kinks. So that when it's show will indeed be SHOW TIME.  His show time.  

Oh, but alas, I think I have mistakingly taken the lead in a role that is not mine..

Friend #2 sent this scripture to me recently:

From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,
       the name of the LORD is to be praised.
  The LORD is exalted over all the nations,
       his glory above the heavens.
  Who is like the LORD our God,
       the One who sits enthroned on high,
 who stoops down to look
       on the heavens and the earth?
  He raises the poor from the dust
       and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
  he seats them with princes,
       with the princes of their people.
  He settles the barren woman in her home
       as a happy mother. Praise the Lord.

(Psalm 113: 3-9)

It's all about his glory. His fame.
Not about my timing. My issues.

Friend #3 offered these encouraging words from A.W. Tozer:

Unbelief says, “Some other time, but not now; some other place, but not here; some other people, but not us.” Faith says, “Anything He did anywhere else He will do here; anything He did any other time He is willing to do now; anything He ever did for other people He is willing to do for us!” 

So this is me- switching places with God. I will go back to the corridors and try my  little hardest to stand in the quiet and get ready for my role in the Season of Everything.   Let him be center stage while he provides, while he directs and I will remain certain, even though some days I don't feel it that HE IS [always center stage].

(p.s.- I am grateful for friends 1,2 & 3 who encourage me along the way.. I don't know that there is anything as precious as one who intentionally encourages and loves on you during the these seasons)

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