Success.. at least a little.
OK- it's not ideal that I got yet another round of bad news today.
It's not ideal that it has to do with money.
It's not ideal that it made my heart sink to the bottom of my toes.
But it is ideal that I wasn't shaken.
Usually, when I get any bad news at all lately about anything, I fall apart.
Mentally, I start having anxiety about whatever my mind
can grasp onto, blowing the smallest of troubles into monumental struggles.
Spiritually, I ask "Really, God. Are you not listening AT ALL?!?"
Relationally, I take it out on every one I know either by silence,
withdrawal or with a short and hot temper that burns.
Just this morning I was singing this phrase over and over again in my mind:
"I will put my trust in youI will put my hope there tooI will stand up on your wordAnd I will not be shaken"
So this mantra gets tested today.
I celebrate this, what may seem minor to most,
HUGE victory in my spirit.
A visible change in spirit makes for undeniable changes in my actions.
Do I believe or do I just claim these verses that supposedly get me
through my days of uncertainty and weak faith?
Today I believed and it's slowly getting into my spirit and
making me understand that continual repeated words of truth
over my life have a profound effect on the way I handle
the small set-backs and the major upheavals.
I will not be shaken.
Yes, a lump was in my throat at first and my eyes seemed
a little watery but I didn't give over to distress and "what if's".
I am finding a bit of truth even now to claim and believe:
Where does my help come from? My help comes
from the Lord the maker of Heaven and Earth.
I have set the LORD always before me.I will not be shaken.