I don't get the logic behind certain spiritual or physical attacks. I know that my enemy is pretty annoyed at me right now because now, more than ever, I am pursuing my God. I am pursuing His word and falling more deeply in love with Him more than ever. At the same time, I am also trying for a baby, trying to be healthier, trying to take care of this every dying shell of a body, this temporary home my soul is living in.
But my body seems to be falling apart or "under attack".
Who knows if it's a direct attack on me or if it's just signs of aging and other weirdness that goes on with one's natural body. I do know it's super annoying and can be a huge distraction. It can have me on the brink of anxiety and can take up room in my brain that is needed for other much more profitable things.
L o v i n g
N u r t u r i n g.
M i n i s t e r i n g.
H e l p i n g.
L a u g h i n g.
L o v i n g.
E n c o u r a g i n g.
C o n s i d e r i n g.
E n j o y i n g.
My body obessessions go back a long way but more recently, in the past couple of years, I've grown very at ease with my appearance and my body type. I won't say that I am in love with my body, that would be strange I think but I can say that I don't spend countless hours a day obsessing over my looks anymore. This is a battle that was miraculously won for me. Thank you, God. Through the loving words and actions of an adoring husband, encouragement from friends and by me becoming more acquainted with His word about my life, my thoughts, me being a beautiful creation- My mind has been transformed. 10 years ago this seemed
I M P O S S I B L E.
all things are possible with Him..
However, I am on the brink of something called aging. Ack!
Aches and pains, weird little lines in my face, grey hairs and weird body fat distribution. Gravity. No
t something I am entirely grateful for in a bodily sense.
With aging comes the weirdest things. I am by no means "old" but I am feeling now, more than ever, the impermanence of youth. Although I am sure one day in the future I will look back longingly on these "afflictions" reminiscing about how light they truly were. I am not obessed anymore with something so trivial and passing. But old habits die hard and I can see when I am beginning to see Satan use this old vice to consume my thoughts and distract me from my Jesus.
King Solomon said this :
beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." Proverbs 14:30
So what if I don't look like so and so or have the vitality, or few signs of stretching, aging and gravity. Does it matter? A heart at peace..this is my desire.
To be at peace with my circumstances.
To be at peace with my relationships.
To be at peace that God is always moving even though I may not be able to detect it straight away.
To be at peace with the end results of my efforts.
To be at peace.
Seek peace and pursue it...
So I need to be at peace with this body. One battle at a time.
My body image is supremely better than it used to be. Battle won.
But the fights not over.
Letting God fight my battles physically and spiritually for me is the best plan :)
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in HIM, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
Using my mind to glorify God ..
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, Who is in you, Whom you have received from God? ... So use every part of your body to give glory back to God...
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
I will be anxious for nothing but I will with thanksgiving make my request known to God and realize that he is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that I dare ask or think in this body of mine so that I am able to overflow with hope by His power.
He will keep me in perfect peace when my mind is resting on Him.