I messed up, I'm not messed up

Romans 4:25 says this

 "Abraham was declared fit before God by trusting God to set him right." But it's not just Abraham; it's also us! The same thing gets said about us when we embrace and believe the One who brought Jesus to life when the conditions were equally hopeless. The sacrificed Jesus made us fit for God, set us right with God.

If I could just get a hold of that..

I slipped up today. I don't know why. Well I am pretty sure a morning squabble with my husband and an overflow of those danged emotions were the culprits.

 I just had a moment (4 hours) of weakness and gave in to all of the anxieties, the sadness, the 'whys' and the confusion.

Because I had a moment(4 hours) of those things I then started to bully myself with THOSE THOUGHTS..you know the ones,

 "well look at you. You aren't progressing very far now are you? What's your problem!? If you were REALLY growing, this wouldn't be an issue for you. God isn't very happy with you right now I bet. And what's with all of the tears anyway. Aren't you 28?? Things are going well for other people because they are in tune with God, you on the otherhand..."

The C word

Condemnation.

Romans 8:1 was ministered to me by a friend today.

Therefore there is now NO condemnation to you, who are in Christ Jesus who live not according to your flesh but through the power of the Holy Spirit.

and remembering that He became my sin so that I would be made righteous before his sight.

And I was reminded by the Holy Spirit that I am in a spiritual battle and that I am to refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the true knowledge of God. I am to lead every thought and purpose away to the captivity of Christ

THOSE THOUGHTS are not of God. I was believing someone elses thoughts and crowding the Holy Spirit out not giving it room to be my comforter and speak truth to my heart so that I could fight the battle that was going on in my mind.

 My heart needed to cast all of my cares upon him because he cares FOR me

Joyce Meyer said this :

"When you fail (which you will), that does not mean you are a failure. It  

simply means that you do not do everything right. We all have to accept the 

fact that we have strengths along with weaknesses. Let Christ be strong in 

your weaknesses; let Him be your Strength on your weak days. If you are 

waiting for the victory in an area and you hace not seen it, rather than feeling 

condemned about it, be patient. do not receive condemnation; walk in the Spirit  "

Walk in the spirit...

Waiting

I've started reading Andrew Murray's book Waiting on God.

I am only 4 days into it. But I love it. I don't think I could have started reading it at a better time in life than right now. I've had it for months and every time I see it on the shelf I say to myself, "Missy, you should read this. You need to be learning how to wait well"

After Monday Night Group I decided to just starting it. We have been talking about living intentionally and with goals, seeking after knowledge in areas God has placed on our hearts.

I really recommend the study by Elizabeth George, A Woman After God's Own Heart. She has so many amazing ideas about living life intentionally and making changes to best serve God during every season of life. She recommended starting 5 fat files. 5 topics you want to invest your time and energy into for and eternal purpose.

One of my files is going to be Contentment/Waiting on God. It's something I have learned a lot about personally in the last year. It's not something I am perfected in yet! I started filling my file with info by reading this book, Waiting on God. So far, I am flooded with amazing insights by Andrew Murray about waiting patiently and expectantly on our God.

Some things he said that were inspiring to me, I hope are encouraging to you as well:

"Once a believer begins to see it and consent to it- that he just , by the Holy Spirit, each moment receive what God each moment works- waiting on God  becomes his brightest hope and joy."

"God unceasingly giving and working and His child unceasingly waiting and receiving; this is the blessed life."

In chapter 2

"We hinder Him either by our indifference or by our self- effort, so that He cannot do what He wants to do."

*that is what I have been thinking about lately. I felt very indifferent last week but then I felt that the only other option was for me to be doing things to make things work out. This week I feel more balanced in that sense.

" There can be no good but what God works. To wait upon God, and have the heart filled with faith in His working, and in that faith to pray for His mighty power to come down, is our only wisdom, Oh, for the eyes of our heart to be opened to see God working in ourselves and in others."

"Our private and public prayers are our chief expressions of our relationship to God"

Chapter 3

"Let us resolve at once that it will be the one characteristic of our life and worship, a continual, humble, truthful waiting upon God. We may rest assured that He who made us for Himself, that He might give Himself to us and in us, that He will never disappoint us, In waiting on Him, we will find rest and joy and strength, and the supply of every need."

Then Chapter 4. I would have to write the entire chapter down.

That chapter "pulled my card" so to speak. :)

Get the book and read it! It's a month long devotional. Each chapter is 2-3 pages long and is packed with knowledge and wisdom. I look forward to reading it everyday.

Anyway, I am learning more and am finding myself more and more desperate for our lives to be changing soon. But I wait.

The Psalm I read today was Psalm 25. Coincidence? I think not.

UNTO YOU, O Lord, do I bring my life.    O my God, I trust, lean on, rely on, and am confident in You. Let me not be put to shame or [my hope in You] be disappointed; let not my enemies triumph over me.


    Yes, let none who trust and wait hopefully and look for You be put to shame or be disappointed; let them be ashamed who forsake the right or deal treacherously without cause.


    Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths.


    Guide me in Your truth and faithfulness and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You [You only and altogether] do I wait [expectantly] all the day long.


    Remember, O Lord, Your tender mercy and loving-kindness; for they have been ever from of old.


    Remember not the sins (the lapses and frailties) of my youth or my transgressions; according to Your mercy and steadfast love remember me, for Your goodness' sake, O Lord.


    Good and upright is the Lord; therefore will He instruct sinners in [His] way.
    He leads the humble in what is right, and the humble He teaches His way.


    All the paths of the Lord are mercy and steadfast love, even truth and faithfulness are they for those who keep His covenant and His testimonies.
   For Your name's sake, O Lord, pardon my iniquity and my guilt, for [they are] great.


    Who is the man who reverently fears and worships the Lord? Him shall He teach in the way that he should choose.


    He himself shall dwell at ease, and his offspring shall inherit the land.
   
 The secret [of the sweet, satisfying companionship] of the Lord have they who fear (revere and worship) Him, and He will show them His covenant and reveal to them its [deep, inner] meaning.^(A)


    My eyes are ever toward the Lord, for He will pluck my feet out of the net.
    [Lord] turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
    The troubles of my heart are multiplied; bring me out of my distresses.
    


    Consider my enemies, for they abound; they hate me with cruel hatred.
    O keep me, Lord, and deliver me; let me not be ashamed or disappointed, for my trust and my refuge are in You.


    Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for and expect You.
    Redeem Israel, O God, out of all their troubles.

   

Risen and standing upright

 A friend of mine, Janet, gave me an Amplified Bible recently. I LOVE it.
I love other Bibles too but this one really helps me, explains words in context, as I read
Today I read this.


Psalm 20




 ¹MAY THE Lord answer you in the day of trouble! May the name of the God of Jacob set you up on high [and defend you];

    ²Send you help from the sanctuary and support, refresh, and strengthen you from Zion;

    ³Remember all your offerings and accept your burnt sacrifice. Selah [pause, and think of that]!

    ⁴May He grant you according to your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans.

I found it a bit ironic as I have not been reading my Bible for the past week for some reason, that the verses I picked were these. 

Because indeed as I read just a few short verses, I was feeling supported, refreshed and strengthened I can't say that I am in a "day of trouble" or anything but I know if I was, He'd be there. Because on an ordinary, regular day, I felt these very things the moment I started reading.Hmm what about that.

    ⁵We will [shout in] triumph at your salvation and victory, and in the name of our God we will set up our banners. May the Lord fulfill all your petitions.

    ⁶Now I know that the Lord saves His anointed; He will answer him from His holy heaven with the saving strength of His right hand.

    ⁷Some trust in and boast of chariots and some of horses, but we will trust in and boast of the name of the Lord our God.

not only did this remind me of the sweet 80's/90's praise song sung by Steve Green, but it reminded me of how I need to be trusting in nothing but the name of my Jesus for my provisions, salvation and desires. Nothing else. Nothing.

   

    ⁸They are bowed down and fallen, but we are risen and stand upright.

    ⁹O Lord, give victory; let the King answer us when we call.

I am so thankful that He does answer. After a week-long spiritually dry spell per my own doing, I was reminded immediately of His faithfulness in my every season as soon as I made the step to meet Him in His Word. Whether I am faithful or not, he meets me again. The verse,

James 4:8 Draw near to him and he will draw near to you, was real today.  His Word always refreshes me, blesses me and inspires me to want more and follow harder after him. I have risen and am standing upright again,for today, by His mercy.

When my heart is overwhelmed

Hear my cry, O God;  

Attend to my prayer.  

From the end of the earth I will cry to You,

When my heart is overwhelmed;  

Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.  

For you have been my refuge,

 a strong tower against the foe.

 I long to dwell in your tent forever

  and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.

(Psalm 61:1-4)

There are many things that overwhelm me. Thoughts of my future, possibilities that may or may not happen, relationship statuses. My mind can turn quickly from a truth filled well into an overwhelmed mess depending on what I am spending time thinking on.  I want my first instinct to be to think of Jesus and his life, the Words of God in the Bible and not my state of helplessness, hopelessness and frailty.

If I have learned anything in the last year it's that to truly be helped, hopeful and strong I must be familiar with His Words so much so that they are the FIRST things that pop into my mind in a time of celebration and especially in times of trouble.

The past 11 months have been roller coaster-ish for me. Some times the dips are severe and sometimes the turns leave me dizzy and sick feeling but everytime I come nearer to hope I long for more. The ride is hard. It's not always comfortable but it always ends in me being closer to God. The flips and the flops of my emotional state can really leave me feeling spiritually confused and not wanting to stand but when God turns me right to where I should be I feel grateful for those ups and downs. ONLY by his Word, though, do I find comfort. Through His Word, I find Him sooner and He ends the dizzying effects of my fleshly emotions about life.  What  should I feel when God doesn't answer my prayers that are full of faith and proclaiming his Word? I learn to have more faith. It is GOOD for me. I am learning more. I move from theoretical faith to real life faith. 

My hope is from Him. I shall not be shaken. He is my rock. My strength. My refuge.

Everything is for his Glory and not for my comfort.

I encourage you to watch this video if you have time. It's sad. It's inspiring and it's a real testimony of people who  lived this out on a much higher level than I am! It's worth a watch!