Monday, July 25, 2011

Day 1

Today I start a series on friendship.
I explained it at length on my other blog, Misinterpretations. Check it out if you want to know the extended reason for the series!
Here's a blip:
"Friendship is a topic that is very dear to my heart because I love my friends. (that's simple enough). They are essential to my life. I was created to be in healthy relationships with people and I crave that... I will be sharing some of my opinions about friendship, some of my own personal struggles and learned lessons. I am not a psychologist. I am not a friendship guru. I am just someone who loves real relationships and craves to know my God better through them"

So here we go!

Ah! What an awkward word this can be. For some, it's an adventurous word. Truth: Some people are just naturally better at going out of their way to pursue a friendship or intiate hang out time. Whether you are good at it or not, that doesn't really matter. If you care about a friendship it's essential. One person can tend to do most of the intiating which is normal but it can be a bit tiring. If you aren't being reciprocated on in a friendship it could mean a couple of things. Either a.) the person is awkward at it and may even be clueless as to how to be a friend like this. b.) they could be quite self-centered. Ouch. No one likes to hear that though. Although it is many times  or. c.) maybe they have excuses for not initiating, such as, "I shouldn't have to, friendship should come naturally" or something more like " I don't like the person, therefore I don't initiate"  Touche! In that case, move on ;o)
This  "initiating" can be a tricky topic. Very tricky indeed.  
The Bible says this:

 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
Luke 6:31

 So, if you don't have [m]any, or are lacking in quality, maybe take an evaluation of what you are doing on your end to pursue relationship. Fear of rejection can be a powerful and stifling thing. Don't let it keep you from some of the amazing kindred experiences there may be out there in friendship land.
Yeah, there are those simple friendships that are easy. The ones where you instantly feel like you found part of yourself in another person  which is always comforting and easy.  It's not common though (we'll talk about those on another day). Most friendships take work.  Pursuing others who aren't just like you is great!.

 Initiate (and reciprocate!) even if it's awkward at first. Even if your efforts run into a dead end with some people, you'll find your rhythm.  Invite them to coffee, dinner. Compliment them. Encourage them Go shopping with them. Keep it simple.  
Those who have initiated friendship with me, are some of my favorite people. It speaks to their character..they are consistent, persistent. I love that in a friend!

So: "don't hate, initiate!" It's my new friendship mantra..

Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things.  ~Author Unknown

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