Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Adjusting the way I see change

In the last week, I've been revisiting my prayer journal and have made the "Answers" column the "Answers and Amendments" column.  Just in a week's time, I've seen how the answers to my prayers come sooner than I expect but come in bits and pieces, in stages. It's a process.  A couple of my requests/ situations were answered quite directly. For instance, my knee has been hurting A LOT and that was on my list. Yesterday I visited the doctor and I now have a few weeks of physical therapy lined up. Easy-peasy. I expect good things from this and am hoping to cross this one off as old news soon.  Another was my thyroid issue to be resolved and healed once and for all. I have an endocrinologist appointment set for later this month. It's a step in the right direction, so I remain hopeful that this process is a means to a most anticipated end of this sickness. And I am peaceful about these things.

There are a few things, though, that aren't so hopeful looking when you look at the amount of earthly movement, the answers.  But I am thinking and remembering that God is always at work.
The verse in Psalm 139 that talks about the "secret place" and "before a word is uttered, He knows"
"You saw my unformed body",  a "high and overwhelming knowledge"..
There are things going on behind the scenes and he is fully aware, in fact, he's the designer of it all.
So I'm not worried...well, I am a little. See below*.

I've noticed a lot of the little things this past week. Coincidental, they would seem, if I wasn't trying to notice his movement so much. These little things seem big to me right now.  They seem divine and they are encouraging to keep at this 30 day prayer commitment thing going.

I've amended a lot of my requests. Not changing them entirely but seeing them, probably, the way God would have me to see, tweaking what I am asking for and expecting. To have a different perspective, to be expecting ANY answer and be fine with it. To be in His will, I think that's the goal.

We will see how this turns out.
Already, I am positive.
* I won't lie, I still am wondering "what if things in (whatever request) don't change??". And it worries me.
But  he searches me and knows me. He understands my heart; He intercedes on my behalf when I can't and don't know how or what to pray for. So it WILL work out and I WILL get an answer.

If you have a moment, read this article I found in Relevant.
It was a good reminder about the way prayer was designed to go.
He doesn't just answer  'yes' and 'no'.
Specific prayers get specific answers. Much like a detailed conversation usually gets you well acquainted with the person you are speaking with, open ended questions get real answers.
When I ask God how he would have me to react to a certain situation, he doesn't answer yes or no. That would be silly. So, I am adjusting how I speak with him. And I'm seeing change..

"...To build muscles, people lift weights. To grow trust, Christians pray. Nothing else builds trust quite like facing all of your ongoing problems and unsolved struggles by getting down on your knees and not trying to fix them the way you would your gutters or broken refrigerators. In this way, prayer is trust in the form of silence and contemplation and honesty."  read on

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