Ready to see the change

I've decided to do something.

To make a commitment.

First, this:

I pray everday.

Sometimes long, intense, deep prayers.

Sometimes one liners that I try to shoot up super quick to hopefully get an equally as quick response.

Sometimes I find myself having my quiet time in lieu of a dinnertime prayer. Our food is cold by the time I get done which tells me, I need to be spending more time alone with God, just talking.  I had a simple thought just a minute ago: If I talked to God as much as I communicated with friends on my phone or on social media, what a difference I would inevitably notice in our relationship.

 If I listened as much as I talked..So here I go. I intend to talk and to listen. To have a month long conversation with God. It's simple but I am guessing that I will find it harder to be consistent than it seems..

I am going to keep a prayer journal for 30 days.

Not the kind where I write out long 4 page prayers to God.

I've tried that.

I get distracted that my hand hurts when writing that much and that defeats the purpose.

I'd rather chat it up or pour my heart out aloud in my car than write for an hour.

I do like what the journaling brings to the practice of prayer though, you see change.

And for a long time, I've been struggling, REALLY struggling with prayer. Everything about it.

And I want to see change.

I don't know what kind of change I need but I know that the way I understand prayer, is not really consistent with what the Bible probably says.

I am simply just writing these down everyday and leaving them in God's care and keeping.

I will not be spending anxiety on these things.

I will not be analyzing anything over and over.

I am leaving them at His feet.

 In this month, I am asking God to change my heart, to readjust my eyes so that I see change.

I want to see change in myself, first and foremost, and also in some circumstances in my life and in the lives of others.  I am certain more happens in my life than I am really aware of. I think that if I was even a bit more intentional about noticing God moving and working in my life, I'd be very much strengthened in my faith, in my belief of the power of prayer and would be refreshed all together.

I just re-read what I've written on this post so far. It's such a simple thing, this prayer journal. I'm almost sort of embarrassed to be on this seemingly elementary step in my faith but oh well! I'm ready to grow.

With this sweet journal that I was gifted with and decorated at my last MOPS meeting, I begin today.

My purpose to the right reads: 

"I'm committing to keep a prayer journal for 1 month to see how God actually does move in my life and in the lives of others.  I'm not very mindful of this now.  I hope to behold some awesome moves of God during this time.  I want to have a better prayer life and have increased faith and a better, more balanced idea of what true prayer really is."

And below that, three columns "Date", "Request", "Answer"

I put the answer column because I am aware that the answers to my prayers aren't always what my initial request wanted. So I am on the lookout here for God's answers, 

not necessarily the answer I think I need or want.

on the front is my little family as a reminder to pray for them consistently. To be seeking God on their behalves and praying God's word over their lives.

Then, Romans 12:2 as a reminder:

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I'll keep you posted on any revelations I may get.

I've already written down some pretty "impossible" looking situations. 

But I keep remembering that with Him, all things are possible.